Freaky Ride o' Life

This morning, after Josie rose with the "butt-crack of dawn" (as aunt Jen-Jen says), I fell back asleep and REM-ed it for the next hour and a half. I usually drag my dreams to the trash bin in my head after I wake up, not caring to remember them, but this one gave me food for thought.

Somehow I found myself in what seemed like an amusement park. There was noise and confusion and a lot of unfamiliar faces all around me, many of them beautiful faces that almost looked like Mardi-Gras masks. There was a single roller coaster ride in my dream, and when I stepped on and into my seat, I noticed I had Ryans brothers on the ride to accompany me. The ride was fearsome: I felt terrified. We were literally jamming through rough and rugged earthy terrain: pumping up rocky cliffs, plunging down massive waterfalls, falling through crevices/cracks in the earth, never seeming to slow down. Every now and again there seemed to be a checkpoint where there was another beautiful person/face manning the ride. I could never tell if they were friend or foe. I was scared, no doubt, but comforted that the bro's were with me. Somewhere along the ride, we came to a brief halt. There were more checkers/strangers with flashlights looking to see who was in each car. Ryans brothers and I felt compelled to hide...we melted in to the face of the cart we were riding in to avoid the probing. The checker searching to see who was in our car shape-shifted in to some kind of spider and crawled all around our cart trying to find us. Then we were off again and the ride came to a stop.

When the ride ended, I found myself in some kind of Broadway play finale: all of the beautiful people were singing and dancing and moving about in some kind of formation that I hadn't rehearsed. Somehow I felt like they were surrounding me and ready to move in on me, just like the spider lady. I slowly stepped back to the outskirts of the stage to watch, not wanting to be the awkward foundling who didn't know what she was doing onstage, or anybody's lunch. Then I found myself standing next to Ryan, who was watching the performance. He smiled, didn't say anything, and put his arm around my waist. I held on tight to him. I felt all fear melt away; no worries anymore. Occasionally one of the strangers would eye us suspiciously, or enviously? Ryan was not afraid. In fact, there was a trace of amusement playing with the corners of his mouth, as if to say, "Why are you always a scaredy-cat?"

I'll bet he never has freaky roller coaster dreams, or anything of the like.

There are three things from my dream that I know to be true:

1. If I ever find myself travelling lifes road alone, there are few other companions I would choose aside from Ryans family and my own. I love that Ryans brothers accompanied my on the freaky ride o' life.

2. Many of the distractions around us are beautiful and tantalizing. They seem to be waiting to draw me in, "just like a spida." What will I determine is beautiful and worthwhile, after all of the sifting has been done? Is it just me who sometimes feels like the dark side is ready to prey?

3. Finally, Ryan is constant, steady, and unafraid. I find a lot of peace in my life because HE is a peaceful person. When the last curtain calls, I'm glad to know he'll be beside me, lighthearted and happy as always.

Now not to worry...I won't be blogging about Ryan every single entry I make. Don't know why, but like I mentioned in my last entry, I keep thinking about how lucky I am to have been thrown into his path. But he is worth mentioning every now and again, don't you think?